Category Archives: Uncategorized

A Monster Calls Me

I just devoured A Monster Calls. I mean I honestly could not put it down, and sacrificed my precious sleep to finish it. I never sacrifice my sleep. For anything or anyone. Ever.

It all started when I saw a commercial for the upcoming movie adaptation. Something about it spoke to me, although I can’t say exactly what. I instantly went to my Google Play account and downloaded the book. I had no idea what kind of ride I was in for, only that I had to find this book and read it. By the end, I was ugly crying and telling my husband how beautiful and sad and breathtaking it was. Being that I’m 8 months pregnant and hormonal, I will admit  that not everyone will have the same emotional journey that I did… BUT you would need to be made of stone and ice for this story to not affect you at all.

I learned a very valuable lesson from this 200+ page heartbreaker… That it is okay to let her go. By her, I mean my angel baby Georgia. I miss my daughter fiercely every day. Sometimes I long for her so much that I already feel like a bad mom to my baby boy thats due in a just a few short weeks.

Sometimes I wish I could just let her go, and free myself from the pain of losing her. Ultimately that’s the lesson that the Monster teaches the young boy as he struggles with losing his mother. The monster helps the boy deal with his anger and guilt, and teaches him to be honest with himself about it all.

These are areas which I still struggle with. I’m so angry that my daughter never had the chance to live. I’m angry with friends/relatives/coworkers who had living children that same year, as if they stole my joy by having joy of their own. I feel guilty for that anger. I feel guilty for getting pregnant again, and for wanting to love this new child. But I need to be honest with myself too. While I never wanted Georgia to go, I’m now ready to let the pain of losing her go. It’s okay to be angry sometimes. It’s ok to feel guilt. It’s okay to let go.

Depression during Pregnancy

I have been having such a hard time with depression during this pregnancy. I wanted to focus on being positive and happy, but I’m just not feeling that way. This pregnancy sucks! I’m nauseated all the time, but still hungry. I’m exhausted and it is a horrible struggle to make it through the night (3rd shift worker). On one of my favorite shows, The View, they talked about pregnancy and depression and it was very helpful to me. Here it is for your viewing pleasure:

 

Coloring For Relaxation

My best friend and I have been using coloring as a way to relieve stress and anxiety. Bestie is amazing at coloring. She can pick the perfect colors, blend them, shade them, and generally make them look like professional art. My skills, on the other hand,  are just basic.  That is okay by me though. Being able to use a little creativity and be calm and focused for a few minutes a day is what coloring is all about to me.  Huffington Post has an interesting post about coloring for stress relief here for some more info.

Below are some of our favorite books to color.